An inter­est­ing arti­cle today from Yahoo Health enti­tled “Social Rejec­tion Can Cause Phys­i­cal Pain” which talks about an exper­i­ment of peo­ple expe­ri­enc­ing actual phys­i­cal pain as the result of rejec­tion.  Here’s some really good advice noted in the article:

To recover from that pain, it’s best to rely on healthy cop­ing skills that allow you to bet­ter relate to peo­ple or avoid those you can’t seem to get along with, says psy­chol­o­gist Jef­frey Ross­man, PhD, direc­tor of the Life Man­age­ment at Canyon Ranch in Lenox, Mass­a­chu­setts, and a Rodale.com advi­sor. “Don’t give up try­ing to con­nect with oth­ers and try not to be hard on your­self. Learn what you can from your expe­ri­ence.“
Here are some ways to cope with social rejection—or avoid it in the first place:
Don’t take it per­son­ally. There is some logic to that old standby, “It’s not you, it’s me.” There are a lot of rea­sons why rela­tion­ships end, or never get going in the first place, says Ross­man, and often it has noth­ing to do with you. “A boyfriend may be afraid of mak­ing a long-term com­mit­ment for rea­sons that are entirely about him,” he says. “His end­ing the rela­tion­ship may be because he’s not ready for the kind of com­mit­ted rela­tion­ship you are want­ing and ready for.” And the same holds true when you try to make friends with peo­ple who seem unin­ter­ested in becom­ing your friend. If you’ve tried to befriend a coworker or neigh­bor who con­tin­u­ally rejects your efforts, move on. “You can’t be friends with every­one, but you can be friends with a few peo­ple you are com­pat­i­ble with,” Ross­man adds.
Look inward. That being said, some­times it is you. Ross­man notes that there are cer­tain per­son­al­ity types that are more sus­cep­ti­ble to rejec­tion than oth­ers. They usu­ally fall into the “Type D” group, “d” mean­ing “dis­tressed.” These peo­ple are usu­ally more prone to worry, irri­tabil­ity, and gloom, and they’re more socially inhib­ited than oth­ers. Also, “they tend to not share these emo­tions with oth­ers, because of fear of rejec­tion or dis­ap­proval,” Ross­man adds. If you fall into this group, try to spend time with cur­rent friends who are more out­go­ing. Their social ease may make it eas­ier for you to develop new rela­tion­ships
Research shows: Be true to your­self and you’ll be hap­pier with oth­ers.
Find self-esteem boost­ers. One of the best ways to pro­tect your­self against the painful effects of rejec­tion is to improve your self-esteem, says Ross­man. You can always exer­cise, which has been found to boost body image and self-esteem. Another way to boost your self-esteem is to find a hobby or activ­ity that makes you feel good about your­self, whether it’s vol­un­teer­ing at a nearby ani­mal shel­ter or tak­ing an art class at the local com­mu­nity cen­ter.
Know the warn­ing signs. DeWall notes in his study that neg­a­tive and painful reac­tions to social rejec­tion could lead to aggres­sive or anti­so­cial behav­ior. Even if you don’t feel like you’re in pain every time you get rejected, Ross­man says there are a few warn­ing signs that might indi­cate that you’re han­dling it badly:

1. You find your­self with­draw­ing from peo­ple and for­go­ing activ­i­ties you have enjoyed for fear of rejection.

2. You expect rejec­tion and then feel resent­ful of other people.

3. You end rela­tion­ships in order to reject oth­ers before they can reject you.

4. You pro­voke con­flicts in order to find a rea­son to end a relationship.

5. You turn to unhealthy behav­iors to help you soothe your hurt feel­ings, such as exces­sive emo­tional eat­ing or drink­ing, drug use, or overspending.

A friend of mine was very suc­cess­ful in the life insur­ance sales game.  When asked why he was the most suc­cess­ful sales per­son for a major life insur­ance com­pany, he said this: “  Most peo­ple put in 8 hours filled with rejec­tion.  Then they quit.  I knew I was going to get 8 hours of rejec­tion, so I fig­ured I’d work 10 so the last two would be pro­duc­tive.”  Every­one (in his busi­ness) has a cer­tain amount of rejec­tion that s/he must endure daily, then you get the pay­off.  Rejec­tion can either build you up, or tear you down.  It’s really your choice as to who is boss of your lim­bic system.